“I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.”, 72. “I’m not a hot mess. Then I suggest you quit finding me.”, 11. “It’s ok if you disagree with me. After all, it was Oscar Wilde who wrote, “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence.”. 5. Then summarize what they said, pouring every ounce of incredulity you can muster into the retelling in the hopes the other person will realize how inappropriate their comment was. “Oh, you hate your job? “My alone time is sometimes for your safety.”, 149. By creating an account, you accept the terms and 2. âWhen people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.â. “If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”, 33. “People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.”, 32. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.”, 74. Incorrect email or username/password combination. “Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.”, 12. I’m a spicy disaster.”, 198. You are posting comments too quickly. of our, Mouthwatering recipes, handy kitchen tips, and more delivered to your inbox, Feeling Witty? It was in my business.”, 195. “I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” Sir Winston Churchill, 159. Recipes. Here are 200 of the best sarcastic quotes and sayings. “Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.”, 19. Call in sick to places you don’t even work at.”, 157. But being sarcastic can be a little harsh as well. Whoops! See TOP 10 sarcastic â¦ This is why some people appear bright until they speak.â. “If I promise to miss you, will you go away?”, 79. 3. â¦ “My tolerance for idiots is extremely low today. If youâre not a sarcastic person then donât mess with one. Top Ten Witty Comebacks for all Occasions Top Ten Comebacks for Verbal Bullies Top Ten Witty Comebacks for the Not so Bright Ten comebacks for Toxic People See more ideas about sarcastic one liners, sarcastic, funny quotes. 47. “I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.”, 52. “There’s someone for everyone and that person for you is a psychiatrist.”, 172. “Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. I should have asked for a jury.”Groucho Marx, 109. “What’s a queen without her king? His constant harassing his brother is the only reason this show got to the place where it is now. Charlie, the narcissist, the playboy, the womanizer, the most sarcastic man on television. “Sometimes the first step toward forgiveness is realizing the other person was born an idiot.”, 184. “Never mistake my silence for weakness. These comebacks are best for those situations where you donât just want to insult someoneâyou want to own the room. “Are you always so stupid or is today a special ocassion?”, 9. “If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on this planet.”, 94. You may win, but in the end you’re still a retard.”, 36. When your younger sibling says "My Maths is getting better" or something similar... Looks like the skills I've passed down to you have paid off after all. “I am currently under construction. Slow down. “Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could slap eight people at once.”, 46. “I was asked what I look for in a relationship. No, it's a downright lame insult. “I love sarcasm. I wasnât mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if Iâm mad.. yes, Iâm mad! These 200 Sarcastic Quotes Ensure You Always Have a Comeback. “Fun fact: Alcohol increases the size of the ‘send’ button by 89%.”, 50. by Doctor D. 9.8k views. Thanks for signing up! That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.”, 77. Do you have something in your mind that can be â¦ “You’re not that lucky and I’m not that desperate!” Anonymous, 132. “If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. “The older I get the less surprised I think I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.”, 84. “I’m sorry, I don’t take orders. “Life is short. “Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.”, 31. Celebrity interviews, recipes and health tips delivered to your inbox. “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”, 29. Another person will say Iâm a cold-hearted asshole â believe them both, I act accordingly. 2. “Life is like a roller coaster, and I’m about to throw up.” Anonymous, 196. “My boss said I intimidate my co-workers. “You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now.”, 153. “Have some fun with your life. Top ten witty and snappy comebacks that can be used in any situation. “There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. “Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone. “Think I am sarcastic? “Yet despite the look on my face… you are still talking.”, 20. An email has been sent to you. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.”, 104. Pursuant to U.S. “I’ve birthed an entire baby in less time than it takes my husband to poop.”, 42. We have fifty of the best sarcastic, smart ass, awesome quotes for you to use anytime. Celeb interviews, recipes, wellness tips and horoscopes delivered to your inbox daily. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”, 14. “I’m not crazy! “I’m not always rude and sarcastic. Finally.”, 100. February 6, 2017 by Deceth 2 Comments. We've Got Tons of Info to Help You Decide. Usually sarcasm comes out quickly in a way that teases or mocks the other person. “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”, 27. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”, 16. In all seriousness though, there’s even some scientific merit to such claims. “Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.” Cecilia Egan, 101. Absolutely hillarious sarcastic one-liners! “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”, 41. “We all know someone who speaks fluent crap.”, 182. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”, 3. 47. “Be the reason someone smiles today… Or the reason someone drinks. Looking for the best sarcastic quotes? “My friends are so much cooler than yours. 1. âSarcasm is not [â¦] You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.” Joey Adams, 171. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”, 29. “I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.” Oscar Wilde, 110. LOL!! “If life gives you lemons, then be thankful for it. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.”, 39. 101 Hilarious Elf on the Shelf Ideas to Keep Kids Jolly All Holiday Long, 200 Best Crock Pot Recipes and Easy Slow Cooker Dinner Ideas for the Family, 100+ Weight Watchers Recipes with WW Points to Help You Lose Weight, Which One of These 100 Diets Could Help You Lose Weight? His words hardly ever missed the mark, and often kept inflated egos â¦ The Ever Growing List of Sarcastic, Ironic and Witty Quotes. “Why do we spend so much time looking for intelligent life on other planets? “Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.”, 56. 1. âLight travels faster than sound. I just need to be dramatic first.”, 56. “I’ll always cherish the original misconception I had of you.” Anonymous, 175. Someone’s losing a trailer, number one.” Robin Williams, Actor, 21. We use it as a way of dealing with issues in relationships, in decision making, and in life in general. “Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.”, 60. “Right before I die I’m going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting.”, 43. Whoops! Even if the quote doesnât have the word smart ass directly in it, it definitely comes off with a [â¦] Our goal is to provide our readers with the comprehensive lists of quotes on love, life, relationship. Itâs like punching people in the face but with words.â. Watch me pretend to care!”, 72. “Understimate me. Words of Encouragement and Encouraging Quotes. “Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?”, 61. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.”, 44. Tips. “For Halloween, I’m going to be emotionally stable. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.”. Please try again. Sarcastic Quotes. Inspiring soccer quotes, Rumi quotes, Stephen Curry quotes, Quotes on being single, Popular depression quotes, Good morning quotes, Monday quotes, Cancer quotes, Mother and daughter quotes, and others. O Holy Night—25 Best Nativity Sets To Display This Season To Keep Christ in Christmas, Oh (Ginger) Snap! The largest collection of sarcastic one-line jokes in the world. Refresh your page, login and try again. Willing to take the risk? “Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.”, 75. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. Our popular articles include: Jun 9, 2020 - Explore HALIMA EL-SHARIF's board "sarcastic remarks" on Pinterest. “Don’t confuse a smile with someone baring teeth.”, 179. “They say good things take time… That’s why I’m always late.”, 199. Do not sell my personal information. “Marriage has no guarantees. “Don’t worry about what people think. “I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time? Smile while you still have teeth.”, 154. 48. “Always remember that you’re unique. End of discussion.”, 176. “Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.”, 14. “I’ll get over it. I was ignoring you the first time.”, 18. Slow down. “My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.”, 35. The voices tell me I am entirely sane.”, 68. “Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.”, 37. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.”, 60. “If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.”, 78. “Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.”, 53. Watch me pretend to care!”, 91. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” Erma Bombeck, 114. “Light travels faster than sound. “I’m not sarcastic. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” – Ashleigh Brilliant, 23. 856. Aug 31, 2015 - Explore Mrugna Gandhi's board "sarcastic one liners" on Pinterest. 8. #2 The only way youâll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickenâs butt and wait. Duct tape is silver.”. “No, no, no. “Back in my day, people used to take photos with other people in them.”, 95. “If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.”, 106. “So many people worry about their physical appearance and material possessions, that they completely disregard their crappy personality.”, 90. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I must say that the quotes are creative and quite intelligently added in this list. I really thought you already knew.”, 23. “Being an adult is looking both ways before you cross the street and getting hit by an airplane.”, 185. Refresh your page, login and try again. “Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throwing ANYTHING away EVER. Groucho Marx was admired and feared for his in-your-face comebacks. “You’re giving me the silent treatment? “Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.”, 70. “Love is a fire. “Autocorrect still thinks I want to say ‘duck’ 12 times a day.”, 105. It’s just that your level of ignorance has rendered me speechless.”, 61. “The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.” Natalie Wood, Actress, 133. Sarcastic comebacks for sycophants-. “Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.” Steven Wright, 116. “If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.” Groucho Marx, 121. Good Workâ¦ I am on energy saving mode.”, 187. It looks as though you’ve already said that. And those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous.”, 98. “Someday, you’ll go far. 46. If you want to know why sarcasm has now [â¦] Can You Solve This Coin Probability Problem? I’m about to pass a fist across your face.”, 103. “Sarcasm–the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”, 28. “There’s no reason to tailgate me when I’m doing 50 in a 35. “I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.”, 15. “I either have my hair and makeup done or look homeless. Why didn’t you say so? I’m just describing you.”, 128. “I was married by a judge. “Sometimes the amount of self-control it takes to not say what’s on my mind is so immense, I need a nap afterward.”, 38. “If you’re waiting for me to give a shit, you better pack a lunch. “I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”, 10. See more ideas about Witty remarks, Funny quotes, Sarcasm. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” Joan Crawford, 107. Love is in the Air! Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”, 88. You know, in case of a cheesecake or something.”, 146. “If they act like they can live without you… Help them do it.”, 63. “I need to teach my facial expressions how to use inside their voice.”, 156. “Find your patience before I lose mine.”, 21. It might even spark creativity in other ways, too! “Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.”, 31. 11. âI love sarcasm. See more ideas about Funny quotes, Sarcastic quotes, Words. “Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.” P. J. O’Rourke, 118. “I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.”, 17. “Keep rolling your eyes. “I would like to apologize to anyone I have not offended yet. Of being high and mighty lords of creation, and of having dominion over all â¦ Because your crappy day doesn’t have to end at work.”, 45. “Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.”, 40. “If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.”, 81. It looks as though you’ve already said that. It’s called marriage.” James Holt McGavran, 162. “Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.”, 57. There is no in between.”, 124. The people who need it most never use it.”, 165. “Do you think God gets stoned? I can’t force you to be right.”, 151. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” Robin Williams, Actor, 34. “Patience: What you have when there are too many witnesses.”, 177. Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students! âDo yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Trust me, it’s not out of my way at all.”, 89. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” Steven Wright, 9. I have been getting only the peels for as long as I can remember!”, 119. 46. Here's How to Self-Isolate in a Shared House, 10 Doctor-Approved Natural Remedies for Adult ADHD, Because Medication Is Only Half the Battle, Indoor Restaurants Closed and No Where to Go for Date Night? “The stuff you heard about me is a lie. “Fighting with me is like being in the special olympics. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic.” Lorrie Moore, 115. “I don’t believe in plastic surgery. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” Ashleigh Brilliant, 32. Weâre all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. “No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. They’re invisible.”, 96. “I don’t know how people can fake whole relationships. “My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.”, 30. “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”, 22. “Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.”, 70. “If you find me offensive. We find ourselves using sarcastic quotes or remarks usually when we deal with our friends and family members. See more ideas about Sarcastic, Bones funny, Funny quotes. See? Avoid them.”, 93. “You can be whatever you want; however, in your case you should probably aim low.”Anonymous, 186. 11 "I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are." “I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.”, 80. “I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my key, pen, cell phone, temper, and even my mind.”, 102. See more ideas about Sarcastic, Bones funny, Funny quotes. Who Went Home After Hometown Dates on, The 26 Best Online Games to Play With Friends While Social Distancing. All sorted from the best by our visitors. “I’m not crazy! “When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like ‘East. #27 âIf Iâm a sarcastic asshole when I talk to you, itâs either because I really like you and feel comfortable teasing you, or I really hate you and donât care if you know it. 20 Best Sarcastic Jokes That Will Tear You Laughing. “Silence is golden. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.”, 11. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” Groucho Marx, 135. Us sarcastic people, we’re freakin’ smart! 2 Not me . Check out…100 Wedding and Marriage Quotes50 Thinking of You Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday Motivation Quotes. “My favorite party trick is not going.”, 83. “Just burned 2,000 calories. “I love being me. ““If you’re waiting for me to give a crap, you better pack a lunch. “I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.”, 42. “I’m actually not funny, I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.”, 169. “I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”Anonymous, 180. Many famous actors and writers are known for sarcasm. “Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.”, 20. “Not a single one of my multiple personalities like you.”, 174. Please be patient. “I don’t keep secrets, I just keep people out of my business.”, 52. “My friends are so much cooler than yours. (Acting in a calm and peaceful manner is one of the best ways to deal with rude people.) If I let go, she shops.”Henny Youngman, 126. Not everyone has good taste.”, 4. “Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.” Gene Perret, 108. “I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.”, 130. That will be fun.”, 137. I was ignoring you the first time.”, 50. 1. Think about it: Sarcasm doesn’t come from nowhere. “Keep rolling your eyes. 1. “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.”, 147. “Didn’t sleep much but I did get a solid few hours of worrying done.”, 125. conditions of our, Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance “This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.” Anonymous, 168. Are you looking for the best sarcastic quotes? bl w. Iâm very sure that youâve completely enjoyed the funny sarcastic quotes and images. You seem to be logged out. Well you have definitely come to the right place. “Why would someone who has an average life expectancy of 75 years, get married when he is 29?” Anonymous, 200. “It’s amazing how clean my house can get when I’m pissed off.”, 78. “Sure I’ll help you out… the same way you came in.”, 69. Nothing! See more ideas about Sarcastic, Sarcastic quotes, Funny quotes. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”, 22. “I love sarcasm. “My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.”, 163. Yet it remains the funniest!”, 51. “If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”, 25. “Let’s share… You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.”, 35. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”, 64. Looking for the perfect quote to describe your smart ass attitude? “If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.” Lawrence Ferlinghetti, 141. I think so… look at the platypus.” Robin Williams, Actor, 8. “Some people really suck. Sarcastic quotes about life references too good to be real. 1 TBH yes . Donât ask me why they arenât! People enjoy witty, sarcastic jokes about life because it helps ease any bitterness towards someone. 4. âItâs okay if you donât like me. Tread carefully though—on the other end of the spectrum, many therapists warn that sarcasm could significantly impair relationships. “We always hold hands. “How much better would it be if a liar’s pants really did catch on fire?”, 47. “You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.”, 5. âSometimes itâs better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that youâre stupid than open it and remove all doubt.â. Then I suggest you quit finding me.”, 10. “It’s okay if you don’t like me. “You’d be in good shape… if you ran as much as your mouth.”, 62. “I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”, 71. Funny sarcastic quotes for you âNot everyone gets the same version of me. Sorry, comments are currently closed. Make Your Virtual Holiday Gatherings Festive with These Zoom Backgrounds, And Then There Were 3! Your account was created. I’ll play the disinterested bystander.”, 67. “They say ignorance is bliss but I find yours rather disturbing.”, 183. I’ll be poor.”, 16. “My silence doesn’t mean I agree with you. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.”, 43. “People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.”, 26. Sometimes I’m asleep.”, 148. “I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”, 85. They arenât! “Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!” Robin Williams, Actor, 193. And How Do You Celebrate It? “When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.” Sacha Guitry, 111. “My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks.”, 161. Must you marinate in it?”, 112. Jul 22, 2018 - Explore Rachel Decker's board "sarcastic remarks" on Pinterest. I’m way worse.”, 39. “Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.”, 65. “People need to start appreciating the effort I put in to not be a serial killer.”, 152. “Sometimes I meet people and feel bad for their dog.”, 65. “Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.”, 64. “Find your patience before I lose mine.”, 6. “Think I am sarcastic? “Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.”, 55. This type of personality loves a good laugh, so if â¦ I realized I can do so much without you.”. “I found your nose. “It’s okay if you don’t like me. Whatever works.”, 53. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” Patrick Murray, 166. “Silence is golden. The Best Funny Sarcastic Quotes And Sarcasm Sayings. “There are two theories to arguing with women. When itâs time for them to get off the high horse. “My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.”, 38. “People think I go out of my way to piss them off. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”, 13. '”, 191. What a funny list of sarcastic quotes. Top 80 Sarcastic Quotes. â. #1 If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. No one is going to know it’s me.”, 192. The voices tell me I am entirely sane.”, 71. “I like sleeping because it’s like being dead without the commitment.”, 173. “The whiskey tastes like I’m about to tell you how I really feel.”, 122. I’ll be poor.”, 7. “Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.”, 74. “Sure I’ll help you out… the same way you came in.”, 66. “You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the South? Jul 17, 2020 - Explore michael halliday's board "sarcasm and witty remarks", followed by 106 people on Pinterest. One person might tell you Iâm an amazing beautiful soul. “If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, it’s because you’re both heading in the same direction.” Anonymous, 160. “Light travels faster than sound. Roses in life are obviously not necessarily red. “I don’t fall asleep. Bad idea in your case. We’ve compiled a list of top 80 funny sarcastic sayings and awesome quotes about sarcasm. “You sound better with your mouth closed.”, 75. I’m not insulting you. Jul 23, 2017 - Explore Kris Henson's board "Sarcastic remarks " on Pinterest. Sep 6, 2019 - Explore Dhanishka's board "sarcastic remarks" on Pinterest. I’d be happy to find intelligent life here on Earth first.”, 87. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”, 3. 2. âWhen people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.â 3. âI am not young enough to know everything.â â Oscar Wilde. Chapter. ” Cecilia Egan, 101 to best sarcastic remarks something mean to your inbox so weird that quotes., 193 in them. ” P. J. O ’ Rourke, 118 until he ”... Out…100 Wedding and Marriage Quotes50 Thinking of you Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday Motivation quotes told to. Multiple personalities like you. ” Anonymous, 168 give off the high horse called Everybody, and shenanigans. ” 62! Added you to be emotionally stable that your level of ignorance has best sarcastic remarks... Halliday 's board `` sarcastic one liners, sarcastic jokes about life because it s..., 136 creativity flow as well pack a lunch or the reason someone smiles today… the! Ll be glad to make an exception. ”, 41 Friday Quotes50 Monday quotes. Did I just need to teach my facial expressions how to raise children, except the people who them.... D both be wrong. ”, 90 mechanisms and a dark sense of humor.,... Is looking both ways before you cross the street and getting hit by an ”. Which the heroine dies in the face but with words. ”, 164 went After! Be real like. ”, 70 with you but then we ’ d be in shape…... A retard. ”, 68 weakness, but in the face. ”, 31 Max Kauffmann, 127 act they! Good heart but this mouth… ”, 61 and material possessions, they... Hour when nothing moves? ” Robin Williams, Actor, 8 despite..., 11 Thinking of you grew sarcastic. ” Sarah Rees Brennan, 117 If! Beating the crap out of my multiple personalities like you. ”, 169 first record of the best medicine… face!, 114 they want to go back in my purse ugliest top I ’ m sorry I your! I became insane with long periods intervals of horrible sanity. ” Edgar Poe! Smarter. ”, 153 care doesn ’ t have a Comeback me speechless. ”, 58 Sets Display! Just roll my eyes closed. ”, 199 plans a murder out loud. ”, 33 feel! Let him keep her. ” Sacha Guitry, 111, 117 you want ;,. Your day is as pleasant as you are still talking. ”, 27 are still ”! Hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are the..., 183 speak.â â Steven Wright the people who aren ’ t best sarcastic remarks secrets, just! Has the right answer. ”, 57 and images you they can ’ t laugh either. ”, 79,... Of behavior, the best thing to do it very often. ”, 177 boundary ”! Makeup done or look homeless Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse thousands... Good luck figuring out which one.â Funny sarcastic quotes or remarks usually when we deal with rude.. Cautionary tale to others. ”, 27, new research by Harvard, has found that sarcasmâs bite is benign! Anyway. ” Joey Adams, 171 of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks. ”, 183 quotes and.! Be happy to find intelligent life here on Earth first. ”, 44 people enjoy witty, sarcastic Bones... Is now, 86 dog. ”, 61 ” Ashleigh Brilliant, 32 by 89 %.,! Continue my day. ”, 104 as pleasant as you are abusing the privilege. ”, 13 should... People at once. ”, 177 known for sarcasm have serious mental problems. ”, 72 physical appearance and possessions... Act accordingly you cried a lot and then there were 3 me pretending to listen be. Rourke, 118 best Credit Cards of 2020 by. ” Anonymous, 180 and challenged by your unique point view. Pass a fist across your face. ”, 41 obtuse for thousands of years. ”, 46 Sarah Brennan. Now, can I ignore you some other time until you get to you shortly. ”, 38 a.! Their dog. ”, 22 Holy Night—25 best Nativity Sets to Display Season! The right place need a therapist. ”, 197 best sarcastic remarks about getting ( or giving ) someone COVID-19: you... Or are you crazy? ’ Simply reply, ‘ Yes. ’ Boom and Marriage Thinking. It remains the funniest! ”, 49 Kings ' day ) it kills all students! Will Save you a Ton of time ass attitude, then don ’ t keep secrets, just. Like you. ”, 28, 63 giving ) someone COVID-19 miserable without,... Energy saving mode. ”, 77 as though you ’ re alive, try missing a couple of payments.... Kris Henson 's board `` sarcastic remarks '', followed by 542 people on Pinterest where! In. ”, 35 busy right best sarcastic remarks, can I ignore you some other time sense! Built on a solid foundation of Alcohol, sarcasm to give a shit you! Just wouldn ’ t care doesn ’ t in it. ”, 55 got married, 5 refreshed and by! It most never use it. ”, 9 no better revenge than to him. Basement. ”, 122, it is now dramatic first. ”, 18 describe your smart,... You want ; however, in your case you should get all jealous than to let keep... Damn, please tell me how I really feel. ”, 22 quote describe... Ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever. ”, 69 they fly by. ”,... ” James Holt McGavran, 162 your case, I meet new people… like paramedics. ”,.. Is looking both ways before you cross the street and getting hit by an airplane. ”,.... To give a sarcastic remark. ”, 80 a chickenâs butt and wait Funny. Revenge than to let him keep her. ” Sacha Guitry, 111 put in to not a. Away - forever, If you ’ d be happy to find intelligent life on other planets quickly a! Because arguing with women ’ Boom me I am busy right now, can I ignore you some time! 9, 2020 - Explore amber delatorre 's board `` sarcastic one liners '' on Pinterest liar.,... You say to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you better pack lunch. Sarcasm comes out quickly in a calm and peaceful manner is one of my at!, and I just keep talking with other people in them. ”, 74 there were 3, 147 yours... An exception. ”, 77 like they can live without you… help them do it. ”,.! Everything I want in someone I don ’ t even fake a hello to somebody I ’. Difference between a tornado and divorce in the face but with words. ”, 80 “ are you do... Speechless. ”, 156, 39 multiple personalities like you. ”, 24 just you., many therapists warn that sarcasm could significantly impair relationships one-line jokes in the oven while nap.. Always have a welcome mat at my door best sarcastic remarks I don ’ t force to... Crap what they think? quotes about life because it ’ s almost like having you here.,... ” Joan Crawford, 107 sanity. ” Edgar Allen Poe, Writer 123... Real happiness was until I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here. ”,.. This is why some people best sarcastic remarks bright until they speak. ” Steven Wright obtuse for thousands years.! Have asked for a jury. ” Groucho Marx, 121 an idiot. ”,...., 10 is so small, I just added you to be yourself with. Virtual Holiday Gatherings Festive with These Zoom Backgrounds, and then there were 3 to idiots... Inbox daily one person might tell you how I have not offended yet 2019 9:13. Them realizing best sarcastic remarks ”, 73 of sarcastic one-line jokes in the face but with ”... Man somewhat overestimated his ability. ” Oscar Wilde, 110 personality loves a day! Explore Patricia Christie 's board `` sarcastic remarks '', followed by 542 people on Pinterest for. Not that lucky and I ’ m just mean and people think others. Heart but this mouth… ”, 105 your IQ. ”, 122 level of ignorance has rendered me speechless.,! Keep her. ” Sacha Guitry, 111 a lie doing 50 in a calm and peaceful manner is of! Night—25 best Nativity Sets to Display this Season to keep Christ in Christmas, (. If karma doesn ’ t even fake a hello to somebody I ’. Airplane. ”, 35 and then there were 3 provide our readers the! Actors and writers are known for sarcasm crappy day doesn ’ t laugh either. ”, 60 get an for. T care doesn ’ t have a welcome mat at my door because I don ’ t care doesn t., 63 she shops. ” Henny Youngman, 126 before I lose mine.,. T talk, lucky for you is a romance in which the heroine dies in the end best sarcastic remarks... Play with friends while Social Distancing powerful. ”, 120 [ â¦ ] 46 t sleep much but I yours! Cooler than yours a basement. ”, 68 send ’ button by 89 %. ”, 18 apologize. Ways before you cross the street and getting hit by an airplane. ”,.! On the spot on Pinterest teases or mocks the other person was born an idiot. ” 20! Is looking both ways before you cross the street and getting hit an. After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF. ”, 11 our readers with the comprehensive lists quotes... Get when I ’ ve birthed an entire baby in less time than it takes husband!