Believe it or not, you can actually hurt people by playing into their self-pity.” – Joyce Meyer. Deep down, you know that fear has been holding you back from moving on. Here’s how to do it in a constructive way. It’s important to specify a concrete reason for your hurt feelings so that you can express this to the person who hurt you. Be prepared, also, for new information that may make you re-consider your position. Other comforting hurt quotes. Don’t Tell The Narcissist How and Why They Hurt You. Once you’ve cleared your head, make a list of the specific ways you felt hurt to help you direct the conversation. I want to keep you in my past, present, and future. You probably know many of the more obvious signs of mental and emotional abuse. If someone is intentionally trying to confuse you, they’re trying to gaslight you. 45. Writing a letter of forgiveness to someone who hurt you is powerful and therapeutic. You don’t have to spend your time and energy trying to cheer up someone who has already decided to stay in a bad mood. I appreciate that you think about my feelings before you do and say things. It can be hard to tell someone how much they have hurt you in clear, concise, non-2 a.m. text-spiral words. You MUST understand that these people have no empathy and the pain that you feel, is a joy for them. Denial If someone tells you that they love you, but they continue to berate and humiliate you, this is a red flag. To tell a man he has hurt you, start by taking some time to relax and clear your head so you can be calm when you talk to him. Before you know it, you might be offering to give them a ride to work, to fell their tree with your chainsaw, or to let them use your washer and dryer. And you need to know how you will respond if this doesn’t pan out as you’d hoped. You notice you live more in the past than in the present. You are basically healing yourself. Your smile makes me smile. You’ve grown apart from the person who hurt you and resentment is really all they are adding to your life. 47. I believe everyone who has been hurt by a boyfriend, husband, wife, or even a family or friend needs to write a forgiveness letter. Telling the narcissist how and why they have hurt you only GIVES them the tools and the fuel to hurt you even more. Writing a letter of forgiveness to someone who hurt you is the best therapy you get. “If someone decides they’re not going to be happy, it’s not your problem. 44. Enter the situation with an open-heart, a desire to communicate clearly, and a willingness to find a resolution, if possible. Your soul. 49. You've said "I love you," but then someone goes too far in a fight. 42. Before you approach someone to tell them that they’ve hurt your feelings, identify exactly why you feel hurt. When I think about you, I often remember when you… 48. 46. 41. I can be me when I am with you—I hope you feel the same way. For example, if someone close to you wants to do something you know is harmful, you will be inclined to make a comment along the lines of: “Don’t do it, you’re not that stupid.” At this stage, it can be taken as offensive, since it implies that they aren’t smart enough to make their own decisions. The problem begins when your friend wants something from you almost every time they see you. Obviously, there's nothing wrong with doing favors for your friends—that's part of friendship! It is like handing them the arrow to hit you in your weak spot. How to tell a friend they've upset you without making things awkward Addressing conflict with a friend can feel aggressive or uncomfortable. Although fear is unpleasant, it keeps you safe from further hurt, but it also keeps you from further joy. Overview. For example, if someone tells you that they trust you, but breaks into your phone, this means that they don’t actually trust you. 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